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With all life’s stresses and the numerous losses brought about in the last 2 years due to the Covid 19 pandemic, one would think that people would become more conscious of the temporary nature of their lives and try to live life with stronger morals and a greater respect for their fellow human beings. Unfortunately, the sad reality is that no matter the circumstances, toxic people don’t change their ways. They may hide it for a while, but not long thereafter at the first opportune moment they would simply reveal their true colours. My dearest niece NNN, whom I consider to be my own daughter, has been the latest victim of such a toxic conniving home wrecker, SSS.
NNN, my sweet 35 year old niece, grew up in LLL with her parents and two elder brothers. I have always shared a special bond with her as although she is my eldest sister’s daughter, there is only a 10 year age gap between NNN and myself. NNN married ZZZ from LLL who was two years older than her. ZZZ who was madly in love with my niece at first sight, fought tooth and nail to convince her to marry him. NNN was reluctant at first as ZZZ had a reputation of being somewhat of a ‘playboy’ but he took an oath that day he was formally introduced to my niece by a mutual friend, that he only had eyes for her. He pursued NNN relentlessly for an entire year before she agreed to meet with him accompanied by her brother. Shortly thereafter ZZZ arranged for his family to formally approach my sister and her husband to ask for their daughter’s hand in marriage. Although NNN was hoping for more time to get to know ZZZ better, her parents who did not believe in dating before marriage, arranged for them to have a short engagement of 6 months after which at the age of 24 NNN got married to ZZZ. ZZZ who came from a very well off family spared no expense in providing his wife with a lavish lifestyle. Sadly, my sister passed away tragically a few months after NNN got married, and she then turned to me as a source of comfort to provide her with advice and motherly love. However, no amount of luxury from ZZZ could replace the deep loss NNN felt and from that day onward she became very withdrawn and preferred spending most of her time at home.
ZZZ doted on his beautiful wife and showered her with all the love and attention she needed during this difficult time. Two years later they were blessed with a beautiful daughter and the joy once again returned into my niece’s life. As I was the youngest of four children, I had a closer relationship with my nephews and nieces and thus even after being married and then after both my parents passing away, I made sure that I kept the family bond intact, especially with my late sister’s children and more so with NNN. With support and understanding from my husband, I managed to invest most of my spare time and energy in NNN’s pregnancy, birth and confinement. I provided her with all the support and love a mother would give her daughter during this special time and she in turn treated me as such.
The years sailed by smoothly and we watched NNN’s little one grow from a baby to a toddler to a little princess. I shared in all her milestones and special occasions and I appreciated the fact that ZZZ always included me and my family in their family occasions. NNN and ZZZ were very happily married and they lived a fairytale life with their beautiful daughter. A few years after marriage, ZZZ bought a luxurious home for his wife and daughter in the EEE security estate. I was extremely happy for my niece, but with my happiness came that nagging fear that peoples’ eyes are not always good and that some jealous person would somehow interfere in their lives. However, I kept my morbid thoughts to myself and simply prayed to the Almighty to always protect them and keep them happy. At the age of 30, NNN fell pregnant once again, but this time she experienced great difficulty with her health from nausea to extreme fatigue throughout her pregnancy. Her gynaecologist assured us that we had nothing to fear but after her 6th month, NNN could barely make it out of bed each morning. I assisted in looking after my four year old ‘granddaughter’ and in cooking meals for them. 28 weeks into her pregnancy, NNN went into premature labour and gave birth to a tiny 1.6kg healthy little boy. The next two months were a whirlwind for us, as NNN had to run up and down to the hospital for baby’s feeds while I took care of her daughter and other household chores. Finally, our blessed baby boy came home after 10 weeks when the doctors were happy with his weight and progress. However, all this had taken its toll on NNN and she found herself very tired and listless all the time. The new baby was very demanding and niggly which added to her exhaustion.
I tried to help as much as possible and in the extra hours that I spent at NNN’s home, I began to notice that ZZZ seemed to spend less time at home. He came home late on most nights, always with an excuse related to work or so called meetings. Not wanting to interfere, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. When baby was six months old, NNN seemed to settle more into a routine but she still complained of tiredness. She hardly attended any family gatherings as she found it too much of an effort with the added fact that her little boy did not take too well to crowds. ZZZ on the other hand who had always been a social person started hanging out at the gym on week nights and with friends on weekends. NNN didn’t really mind as she felt it better that ZZZ went out on his own instead of dragging her and the kids along. I tried advising her to take some time off alone with ZZZ, at least once in a while, but she was too invested in the little one to leave him alone, even if I offered to take care of him for a few hours. Soon after NNN’s second child, our little princess started school and NNN embarked on the new journey of becoming a ‘school’ mum. ZZZ never complained about not having enough of NNN’s attention and always praised his wife for being such a good mother to his kids. Time flew by and I lived happily watching NNN prosper in her role as a mother and a happily married housewife. During the COVID 19 hard lockdown restrictions, I found it difficult being isolated from NNN and the kids, but we made do with video calls and long chats on the phone. Then one day my niece confided in me that since the lockdown, ZZZ seemed very moody and irritable with her and the kids and that they sometimes seemed to be fighting over the most petty issues. I explained to her not to take it to heart as everybody was taking strain due to the impact the pandemic was having, on our health, lives and businesses. These two years drained us all physically, emotionally and mentally and just when we hoped that life would finally return back to normal in 2022, NNN’s life was thrown upside down shortly after the advent of the new year. She received a phone call one morning in the second week of January from a ‘concerned’ female who informed her that ZZZ had been having an affair for almost four years with SSS, a divorcee from LLL, with a 10 year old son. This informer knew personal details about NNN and ZZZ’s marriage, which left NNN in no doubt that she was talking the truth. She told my niece how ZZZ and his mistress would meet almost every second night at SSS’s home and would sometimes spend the weekend in Johannesburg at hotels.
She gave my niece details relating to about three months back when ZZZ had claimed to be attending work in Durban in October 2021, but instead had been with his mistress in Sandton, at the MMM hotel. As my niece had access to her husband’s emails, she accessed his credit card statement for October and confirmed the charges for his hotel stay in Sandton. Unable to contain her grief she started packing the kids and her clothing into a suitcase, to get away from ZZZ as quickly as possible. However, ZZZ happened to come home early on this particular day and got a hold of NNN before she could leave. A terrible fight ensued and ZZZ saw a side of his wife he had never seen before. She refused to listen to any of his excuses and coldly informed him that he meant nothing to her after her discovery of his affair and that the only time he should contact her was when he was ready with the divorce papers. Despite his pleading and crying, NNN packed up, took the kids and came straight over to my house. She was utterly devastated and the next two weeks passed in a nightmare of trying to soothe her and helping her to contain her anger and sadness. ZZZ tried calling her but she refused to take any of his calls and instructed me to inform him about the kids well-being and nothing more.
Eventually, after the third week, at the behest of her elder brother- in -law, NNN agreed to meet ZZZ. ZZZ admitted to his affair and explained that he had met SSS at the gym a few years back. They had become friends which slowly turned into a relationship. ZZZ’s excuse was that he was lonely and felt left out by NNN when their son was born and that he got carried away with all the attention that SSS gave him. He insisted that it was SSS who pursued him from the word go and that eventually he fell prey to her charms. He claimed that during the time they were having an affair, he tried to call it off a number of times, but SSS always made him feel guilty by accusing him of just using her and he somehow got roped back into the relationship. He begged and begged NNN for forgiveness promising to never commit such an offence again and cried to NNN to give him another chance. He assured NNN that he had cut all ties with SSS. Eventually for the sake of the innocent kids who were caught up in this whole big mess, ZZZ’s brother and I managed to convince NNN to return home to her husband. I knew that there lay a rocky road ahead for my niece and her family, but I prayed that with time she would be able to forgive ZZZ and that he in turn would prove himself worthy of his promise to be a good husband. Nobody anticipated the hell that SSS would start to cause.
Instead of hiding her face in shame, SSS called NNN a number of times accusing her of having no religious values, stating that in the Islamic faith a man was allowed to have 4 wives and that ZZZ had every right to take her as a second wife, but was being prevented from doing so out of fear of losing his kids. This created further tension between ZZZ and NNN, but he vehemently denied that he had any intention of marrying SSS. She then resorted to calling ZZZ’s brother accusing him of ruining her life by reconciling ZZZ and NNN. After speaking to SSS on the phone, NNN realised from the voice that the mysterious informer who initially told her about the affair was none other then SSS herself. SSS had hoped that by letting the cat out of the bag, NNN would leave ZZZ and insist on a divorce. She hoped that she would then marry ZZZ and finally be his only wife. Upon investigation, it was revealed that ZZZ was not the only married man that SSS had pursued. A year before meeting ZZZ, she had been interfering with another married man but his family got a wind of it and put an end to her tactics before she could get her claws into him.
I explained to my niece that such women are plentiful and that by her not working on her marriage, she would be merely giving in to this evil woman. SSS had some nerve talking about religion and being a second wife. In the four years of being a mistress, where were her morals and where was her self-respect, that she had not walked away from the affair for the sake of her religion and forsaking a sin. It was only when ZZZ walked away from her, that she started talking about being a second wife. I have no remorse for women like SSS who prey on wealthy married men like ZZZ and try to lure them into having affairs.
Being a woman myself, I am aware that there are males who try approaching single, divorced and widowed females to try their luck for a ‘good time’, but it is for a woman to clearly state her stance, that she is not looking for a playmate but a husband and furthermore asserts that she definitely does not want to get involved with a married man, even on a platonic basis. I don’t understand the audacity of SSS. For her to think that she has a right to be the second wife of ZZZ after having an affair and that NNN should accept it according to Islam, is so shameless. Firstly, ZZZ has denied being interested in marrying her. Secondly how dare she uses Islam when it suits her? She had an illicit affair with a married man for four years and that is Zina. This is totally forbidden in Islam, so where was her Islam then? Thirdly, there is no compulsion in Islam for a wife to accept her husband taking on a second wife and please do not use the example of our beloved prophet (PBUH) marrying more than one wife. We do not even have a dot of goodness compared to our beloved prophet. Why don’t we compare ourselves with everything else our beloved prophet did, let’s not compare out of context. I am hoping and praying that SSS can get out of my niece’s life once and for all and for the sake of her own child she should show some self-respect and stop her desperate attempts at ruining someone else’s marriage. There is nothing as cheap as a woman who steals or tries to steal someone else’s husband for her own selfish reasons and then uses Islam as an excuse.
-Worried Aunt
